Movies You Should Watch Before Suicide: Gran Torino

Once while looking up a film on a well known movie site, I stumbled across a list of films with an interesting and unusual title.  It was called "Before You Wanna' Commit Suicide, Watch These First".  Now, those who know me know that I'm just odd enough to actually give some level of literal consideration to a title like this.  Of course, as was indicated by the author of the list, there was no serious thought given to the actual taking of one's own life or any other actual consideration of death.  It was just an unusual attempt at a creative title for what amounts to a "movie bucket list".  This list was an assembly of 692 films that the author of the list believed were of such quality that seeing them could qualify as some fashion of "life goal".  Long story short, a list of really, really good movies.

But, the thing is, me being me, I just couldn't resist thinking about the title of the list in a literal sense.  Just for kicks, mind you.  Now, for myself, I had to consider my personal taste in films.  The list was, by my standards, rather large and diverse.  So, my first move was to trim the list down to just the titles that appealed to my taste.  When I was done, I had a list that was only a fraction of the size of the original list.  Next, I considered the list that I gleaned from the original list in the context of the title of said original list.  My list got even smaller.  What I ended up with was a list of films that I thought would have a considerable influence on my state of mind if I were actually considering ending my own life.  I thought it could make for an interesting review.  

The 5th film in my list of films to see before I considered ending my life was "Gran Torino".  This film was released in 2008 and starred Clint Eastwood, Christopher Carly, Bee Vang, and Ahney Her.  Walt Kowalsky, after burying his wife, simply wants to be left alone.  An angry, very unhappy Korean war veteran, steeped in the war-born prejudices of the fifties, finds himself brought face to face with the dangerous realities of the neighborhood he raised his family in and has been living in since his return from Korea.  Along with the arrival of his new Hmong neighbors, he's also forced to deal with his strained relationship with his sons and their respective families.  Then a young Hmong teen from next door breaks into his garage in an attempt to steal his 1972 Gran Torino.  When this same teen is harassed by a Hmong street gang, Walt chases the gang members away when the harassment spills over on to his lawn.  Having inadvertently saved the young teen from being taken away by the street gang, he becomes, for all intents and practical purposes, a neighborhood hero.  And, when the young teen's mother and sister get Walt to allow him to make up for the attempt to steal his car by working for him for a couple of weeks, he becomes friends with the young teen, Tao, and his sister Sue.  It is at this point that he undertakes to get Tao started on a better path and wrest him from the grip of the Hmong street gang harassing him to join them.

This was what I would call a very uncomplicated story.  The center of this story was the relationship that developed between Tao and Walt.  The bond that formed between them seemed so terribly unlikely in light of Walt's prejudices.  Walt was a fifties era Korean War veteran.  He was hard, unhappy, and had less than no problem at all speaking his mind.  And he did so in the unmistakable fashion of a hardened soldier.  Tao was a young impressionable Hmong teen.  He was quiet and relatively unassertive, much to Walt's chagrin.  I thought that the relationship and bond that formed between him and Tao was about as unlikely as it could be given the circumstances.  Watching it grow throughout the film was inspirational.

Tao's sister Sue was a piece of work.  She was bright, intelligent, and what some might call "sassy".  She was able to see that, in spite of all the racism, underneath that gruff exterior, Walt was a good man.  Her ability to befriend Walt in spite of his demeanor was endearing.  She was the bridge between Walt and the rest of her family.  Through her Walt learned about her family, her people, and where they were from.  And, she was so able to take Walt's rough, inappropriate, comments in stride.  And she could give as good as she got.  Walt couldn't help but admire her.  She was strong and courageous and had no problem calling out wrong when she saw it.  She and her family came to mean a great deal to Walt.  As a matter of fact, he found himself able identify with Tao and the rest of her family better than he could with his own.

Clint Eastwood made the character of Walt Kowalski all his own.  In his first appearance on the screen, his face almost said it all.  His contempt for his own family wrote itself across his face.  And when he spoke, it became more and more evident with each successive word.  I found myself amused by Walt's expletive laced, racist comments largely because he made them as though he was completely
ignorant of how vulgar and inappropriate they were.  It was like the horrible and embarrassing comments he made were a matter of ordinary, everyday conversation.  It was my own knowledge of the "political incorrectness" of the things he said, coupled with his apparent ignorance of how off-color his comments were that made me laugh.  And when he found himself socializing with his Hmong neighbors, he couldn't pronounce anyone's name right.  And it was almost like he didn't care.  Not so much that he thought poorly of the family.  As I said before, he identified with them better than he did with his own family.  It's just that he knew that he was never going to get it right.  He knew the effort was pointless and, being who he was, his attitude was like "yeah, whatever."  Those that grew close to him learned to just accept it as a part of who he was.  He was set in his ways and those closest to him understood and accepted that about him.  A feat his own family was unable to pull off.

His interaction with the Hmong family as well as his efforts in the guidance of Tao endeared him (to some extent) to them all.  Especially to Tao and Sue.  Almost from the beginning of the movie, we are made aware that he is becoming ill.  Sue is among the first among the Hmong to realize that something is wrong.  When she asks him about it, he lies to her to put her off her concern.  His illness shows itself to Tao shortly thereafter and he too is not-so-easily put off his concern.  As his condition grows worse he is finally driven to seek medical attention.  Though it is never discussed, a grim fate is suggested by the test results he got back from the doctor's office.  When the Hmong family residence is attacked and Sue is assaulted, Walt makes a decision that not only gives him personal peace, but, provides a solution for his young friends and their family and puts an end to their troubles.

With respect to the difference between an escape film and an inspirational film, I'd have to say this was definitely inspirational.  I couldn't call this an escape movie of any kind.  It deals with very real problems that young people and their families have to face and deal with.  Problems that make the news on pretty much a daily basis.  But, out of the midst of the violence, this film paints a picture of friendship and bonding between people on opposite sides of age, cultural and ethnic lines that some might think impenetrable.

Now, if I were to think of this film in the context of something that I'd like to see before I end my existence in this world, I don't know if I would change my mind.  I'm inclined to think that, having seen this film, I might be inspired to find a way to make my passing of some use to someone.  Perhaps in some kind of self-sacrifice in the interest of someone important to me.  I might find some encouragement in the thought that perhaps I could find some peace in ending my life, but, I'm not too sure I would find the inspiration to change my mind.  Don't get me wrong.  I thought this was an awesome movie.  Worthy of anyone's "movie bucket list".  But, I think, for myself, at least, it would only serve to facilitate my search for peace in the decision to "end it all".  The end was sad, but, at the same time, triumphant.  Enough to end everything on a melancholy but pleasant note.        

Movies You Should Watch Before Suicide: Memoirs of a Geisha

Some time ago, I saw a list of films under an unusual title.  "Before You Wanna' Commit Suicide, Watch These First" was the title of the list.  Even though suicide wasn't an actual consideration in the composition of the list, being the odd person that I am, I thought it might make for an interesting point of view if I did think about it from the stand point of being just about to "off" myself.  As this is the fourth film that I've taken it upon myself to discuss in the context of that mindset, I won't get into the details of the respective sizes of the original list and my list, or the difference between my taste in films and that of the author of the original list.  I'll also bypass the details of the mindset in which I'm watching these films, and of how I've assembled my list from those featured in the original list.  I've gone over that three times already. 

The film "Memoirs of a Geisha" is based on the book by Arthur Golden and stars Ziyi Zhang, Ken Watanabe, Michelle Yeoh, Koji Yakusho, Youki Kudo, Kaori Momoi, and Gong Li.  A young Japanese girl with eyes "the color of water", Chiyo, and her sister, Satsu, are sold by their father and taken from their home.  They are taken to a geisha house where she is accepted and her sister is not.  While she is taken in, her sister is taken away and sold to a brothel somewhere else in town.  Chiyo starts off working as a servant in the geisha house.  Later, it is decided that she is to be educated to become a geisha.  But, Chiyo is determined to find her sister at any cost.  Having found out the whereabouts of her sister, she meets with her and they plan to run away together.  But they are forced to wait and meet at a bridge outside of the town district.  But Chiyo suffers a fall from a roof top in her attempt to make it to their rendezvous.  Failing to make it to the bridge, she is left behind by her sister.  To pay off the debt for her care after her fall, she is forced to work as a slave until, one spring day, she meets a man who shows her kindness and becomes the purpose for which she lives. 

I was hooked from the moment the movie began.  I couldn't help but sympathize with Chiyo in what she went through when she was taken from her home, and even more at seeing her anguish at being separated from her sister.  Then, just when you think things couldn't get much darker, she's forced to endure the cruelty of the resident geisha Hatsumomo.  This woman is angry and merciless.  She wastes no time in making life even more difficult for Chiyo.  She is as spiteful as she is beautiful.  And, she takes every opportunity that she can to make Chiyo miserable, insulting and humiliating her at every available turn.  Hatsumomo's grace, talent, and skill afford her royal treatment as she is the principle earner in the geisha house.  The only friend that Chiyo has is the other young girl she met when she was first brought to the geisha house, named Pumpkin.  She and Chiyo watch out for each other all through their younger years. 

Early on it is decided that Chiyo will be educated in preparation to become a geisha.  This is the first bright point in Chiyo's life at the geisha house.  But, is doesn't last long.  She becomes the victim of Hatsumomo's manipulation and ends up being punished for an act that she was put up to.  She quietly endures the punishment to honor a vow she took to Hatsumomo in exchange for information on her sister's whereabouts.  Seeing this as her only hope of escaping the despair that is her life, she finds her sister and plans to run away with her.  On the following night, however, in an attempt to escape from the geisha house, Chiyo falls from a roof and injures herself.  With this injury she is mercilessly plunged back into despair with the loss of her opportunity for education, the news of her parents' deaths, and being abandoned by her sister.  At this point, she is all alone in the world, and forced to work as a slave to pay off the cost of her medical treatment after the fall. 

Finally, one spring day, as she sat on a bridge, steeped in her despair in contemplation of a dark future, she hears the voice of a stranger offering encouragement and kindness.  She turns to see the owner of the voice is a wealthy businessman, a "Chairman" as she comes to remember him, with two geisha at his side.  Complimenting her on the beauty of her eyes, he offers her a gift cherry ice, desiring only her smile as gift in return.  Leaving her with enough money to feed her for a month, pocket change to him, he took her heart with him.  From that moment, her every effort was to become a part of his world.  He became the center of her hope and the motivation for her life. 

Years later, the geisha house is unexpectedly visited by Mameha, a most respected geisha.  She enters into a wager with "Mother", who ran the geisha house.  The wager was such that if she took Chiyo under her wing, she would turn a sizable profit or pay double for Chiyo's expenses and education.  The wager being accepted, Chiyo begins her transformation from geisha house slave to geisha.  From this point in the movie on, you see almost plain, kowtowing Chiyo slowly transform into the graceful and enchanting Sayuri.  (Ziyi Zhang, the older Chiyo, is an exquisite beauty anyway.  Trying to make her look plain, in my humble opinion, is something of an impossibility.)  Mameha shares all of her wisdom and experience and trains her in all of the subtle nuances of a superior geisha's comportment. 

It was the "master" training the "student".  In this film I saw a woman who understood, by virtue of her own experience, the true power of a woman's beauty giving instruction to another who possessed a truly superior beauty.  But, it wasn't just about training Chiyo.  It was about a competition with Hatsumomo.  Mameha and Hatsumomo were great rivals.  And, Hatsumomo had taken Pumpkin under her wing to train her to become a geisha.  Between Mameha and Hatsumomo, it was about who would produce the better geisha.  And Hatsumomo played dirty. 

There were three moments in this film that stood out to me.  The first was the test of Chiyo's training.  On the street, Chiyo had asked Mameha about the ability to stop a man in his tracks with a single glance.  Chiyo was skeptical as to whether it was really possible.  Mameha asked her to choose someone out for her to
demonstrate.  With Chiyo's choice, she effortlessly demonstrated, not only that it was possible, but that she could do it quite well.  Then, Mameha chose someone for Chiyo to try.  The resulting mayhem from Chiyo's breathtaking success was both amusing and inspiring.  It was awesome.  She never even looked back to see the chaos unfolding behind her that resulted from the power of her single glance.  She just walked away with a soft triumphant smile.  As Mameha joined her, she told her, "You are ready."  I was like, "Wow.  Just, wow."  The next was after Chiyo had been given the name Sayuri.  It was her introduction into society.  Just before she was to leave, after she was finished dressing, on the way out she passed a mirror.  It was the look on her face when she saw herself as the geisha she had gone through so much to become.  The moment was humorously interrupted by Mother's voice saying, "Hurry up!  You're not making any money standing there gawking at yourself."  It caught me by surprise and made me laugh.  Finally, there was the dance that she did as the lead in a performance featuring the geishas in training.  It was just like Mameha said she would be just before she took the stage.  She was glorious.  In the film, all who watched her were transfixed.  They couldn't take their eyes off of her. 

In this film, you experience every part of Chiyo's pain, loss, and despair.  As she is trained, becomes Sayuri and is brought face to face with the stark realities of a geisha's life, you experience her pain and her triumph.  And then there's the tenacity of her desire to be a part of "the Chairman's" life.  I could watch this film over and over and over again.  (And I probably will.)  I would recommend this film to just about anyone. 

I would consider this an "inspirational" movie.  A captivating "triumph through adversity" film.  And, considering this film in the context of the above mentioned mindset, I would consider it a worthy experience, as films go, to take its place among the "last things I'd like to experience before I end my existence in this world".  As a matter of fact, this film could be something that might make me change my mind.  The depth of Chiyo's despair and the level of triumph she experienced just might be enough to convince me to try continuing on in this world.  Anyway, in the spirit in which the list was actually meant, I would recommend this as a top rater for anyone's "movie bucket list".

Movies You Should Watch Before Suicide: Sense and Sensibility

A little while ago I came across a list of films that were identified as "movies that should be seen before you commit suicide" (or something like that).  That wasn't the exact title of the list, but that was something of the idea.  It didn't really involve suicide or anything like that.  It was just a really unusual title for what amounts to a "movie bucket list".  I didn't see every film on the list, but, from what I could gather of the films on the list that I did see, it really was a list of particularly good movies. 

The author of this list really caught my attention with its title.  And, being the odd fellow that I am, I actually gave it some thought.  I mean, just as the title suggested, I thought about what movies I'd want to see before ending my own life.  (Those who've known me best know taking a title like that seriously would be just the kind of thing I'd do.)  I thought to myself, "If I were serious enough to want to end my own life, what movies would I want to see?"  There were 692 titles on the list.  Of all the films that I have seen, and of all those that I consider "favorites", there aren't 692 movies.  So, I had to narrow the list down.  Significantly.  Even of my favorites, there are only so many that I would give that serious a level of consideration.  Needless to say, my list is considerably smaller. 

The third film that I included in my own list was "Sense and Sensibility".  This particular version of the film was released in 1995, and was directed by Ang Lee.  It starred Emma Thomson, Kate Winslet, James Fleet, Hugh Grant, and Alan Rickman.  At the death of husband and father, Mr. Dashwood, Mrs. Dashwood and her daughters find themselves in financial straits.  In Georgian England, by law, daughters cannot inherit, and Mr. Dashwood's estate cannot be divided between his son and his wife and daughters (the impression is given that Mrs Dashwood is Mr. Dashwood's second wife [or at least, a wife succeeding his eldest son's mother] and that the inheriting son is from the previous wife).  With the residence being claimed by the eldest son and his wife, Mrs. Dashwood and her daughters must find somewhere else to live.  Taking advantage of a timely offer of alternative residence, Mrs. Dashwood and her daughters must contend with the well-meaning but indiscrete Sir John Middleton and his mother-in-law, Mrs. Jennings.  In the course of acquainting themselves with the ambient society, the two eldest daughters encounter prospective suitors who's situations are more complicated than they first appear.   

One of my favorite things about this film is the pastoral feel it has.  This was one of the qualities that made this film a pleasure to watch.  Another was the way you found yourself caught up in the characters.  All of them seemed to provoke what one might consider to be a rather profound reaction respective to each of the characters and what they were like.  For myself, whatever feelings I developed for the characters, good or bad, were rather strong and engaging.  Their personalities seemed pronounced.  For example, Elinor Dashwood, though quite level-headed, practical and disciplined, was what I would call compassionate to a fault.  She always seemed to put everyone else's welfare before her own.  And she gave everyone the benefit of the doubt.  But, not to the point of denial.  She had the clarity to see what was really in front of her and not what she or others might have wanted to see.  I found myself feeling for her as she accepted the impossibility of a relationship and life with her sister-in-law's brother, Edward, who had pretty much endeared himself to Mrs. Dashwood and all three of her daughters and become the object of Elinor's affections.  Elinor was the family planner and organizer.  She, very effectively, ran the household for her mother and sisters. 

Then, there was Edward Ferrars.  I liked him instantly.  When Fannie, his sister, made an excellent show of just how inconsiderate she was by asking Mrs. Dashwood to move one of her daughters out of their room for the sake of the view, Edward corrected the situation by having himself moved into the guest quarters.  And this, after immediately showing himself sympathetic to the situation Mrs. Dashwood and her daughters found themselves in.  He immediately bonded with the youngest of the Dashwood daughters upon meeting her.  As I mentioned before, Edward thoroughly endeared himself to Mrs. Dashwood and her daughters.  It wasn't long before everyone began to notice the bond that was forming between Edward and Elinor.  Much to Mrs. Dashwood's delight and Fannie's dismay.  Edward was possessed of great integrity, which, unfortunately, would work against their being together. 

Fannie and John Dashwood were not exactly on my favorites list as a couple.  I had some hope for John at first as his initial intention, prompted by his father's dying wish, was to render significant aid to Mrs. Dashwood and her daughters.  But, his wife, Fannie, skillfully and successfully talked him down from his offer and nearly convinced him that he would be justified in seeking remuneration from them.  Fannie, on the other hand, drew contempt from me almost instantly.  Her profound lack of compassion and her sickening sense of superiority almost turned me sideways.  While her outward behavior was possessed of the generally expected and accepted graces exhibited by the ladies of Georgian English society, her disdain for those possessed of less wealth than herself and her self-justified snobbery simply gushed from her like sludge from a flooded sewer drain.  I found no redeeming qualities in her at all. 

Sir John Middleton and his mother-in-law, Mrs. Jennings, were charming enough despite their respective lack of tact.  Though they were rather tact and discretion challenged, I found them particularly amusing.  They were very generous at heart and well-meaning.  Sir John was a generally pleasant fellow and seemed to be a very good conversationalist.  The only shortcoming I found in him was his lack of discretion.  As much as I liked him, I found myself cringing from time to time at the things he would bring up, seemingly out no where, in conversation.  Mrs. Jennings was also rather kind and well-meaning.  She was quite nosey and a bit of a meddler, but she was quick to help and comfort when and where ever she could.  She too, like Sir John, was very amusing.  Both of them so much so, in fact, that it was quite easy to overlook their social flaws.  I kind of got the impression that they were somewhat aware of their social flaws, but just didn't care. 

Col. Christopher Brandon was a character I found myself relating to a bit more than any of the others.  Upon first laying eyes on Marianne Dashwood, he was smitten.  But he understood that in the eyes of ambient society, to say nothing of the eyes of Marianne, he was considered to be something of an older man, by all appearances just shy of middle-aged.  I thought he was a pleasant fellow but very reserved and serious.  Col. Brandon had a past that he was not particularly proud of, though, from what I could tell there was nothing in it of which he himself should've been ashamed.  Nevertheless, Col. Brandon saw himself as someone that Marianne should have only as a casual acquaintance.  Though quickly developed, his feelings for Marianne seemed quite genuine and his only wish for her was her happiness.  And, he would see her happy regardless of the circumstances of that happiness.  He didn't care that he could never be an active part of it.  He could accept that, as long as he knew she was happy.  Nowhere in this film was Col. Brandon's love for Marianne more evident than when she fell ill.  His fear for her life and sense of helplessness nearly consumed him.  In the course of caring for Marianne in her illness, Elinor stumbles upon Col. Brandon outside the bedroom door.  Seemingly overwhelmed with fear and anxiety, he asks what he can do.  As she tells him that he's already done so much for them, he just about cuts her off with what has become my favorite line in the whole movie.  "Give me an occupation Miss Dashwood, or I shall run mad." 

Marianne Dashwood had her own ideas about what love should be like and who would make the ideal candidate for that love.  She was an avid believer in burning passion.  She was of the opinion that any love worth having should be unbridled and careless of propriety.  And, she believed in living up to that ideal.  At least, for herself anyway.  She found that ideal met in the form of John Willoughby.  Having scooped her up and carried her in his arms all the way back home from a fall suffered on an inadvisable stroll in the rain, Mr. Willoughby found himself endeared to Mrs. Dashwood and all of her daughters.  Marianne fell for him instantly.  Being much in each other's company, Marianne Dashwood and John Willoughby seemed very much like a deliriously happy couple.  However, by virtue of a dubious turn of events, it turns out that, to all except for Marianne, Mr. Willoughby is not quite the charming young man everyone is at first led to believe.  This is revealed in some detail when Mr. Willoughby's past behavior indirectly crosses the path of Col. Brandon. 

There were other contributing characters to the story with somewhat less involvement that were just as engaging as those around whom the greater majority of the film is centered.  Miss Lucy Steele, for example, who is a significant part of Edward Ferrar's past and, who, despite her apparent charm, turns out to be something of a schemer.  Mr. and Mrs. Palmer, daughter and son-in-law to Mrs. Jennings, were a bit comical in their own way both as a couple and as individuals.  As a couple they were exact opposites of each other.  She was annoyingly, incessantly, chipper and chatty.  He was sullen, moody, and a man of few, unpleasant words.  And then there was Robert Ferrars.  If you thought Fannie was a snob, you were in for a real treat with this guy.  If you looked up "snob" in the dictionary, you'd see this guy.  As a matter of fact, from all that is revealed about them, the only redeeming quality about the entire Ferrars family is Edward.

The pleasant reverses and lessons learned make this film one worth seeing in a state of mind that might involve the end of one's life.  I would put this in the category of an escape movie as this is definitely something that would take one's mind off of one's troubles for a couple of hours.  As for the aforementioned state of mind, for myself personally, I might find enough enjoyment in this movie to change my disposition.  I would recommend this film to just about anyone.  If you enjoy a good story with engaging characters, this will definitely serve to take the edge off.

                         

Movies You Should Watch Before Suicide: Pride and Prejudice

While I was on a frequented website, I came across a list of films that were described as movies that one would want to see before committing suicide.  It wasn't really about committing suicide or anything of the sort.  It was just a really emphatic way of describing what you might call a "movie bucket list".  This was just a list of what was, in the opinion of the author of the list, some really, really good movies that you really should see, presumably before leaving this life.  Now, with so grave (no pun intended) and expressive a list of films, for myself, I had to narrow down the list a bit.  The list featured 692 titles.  (I like movies as much as the next person, but, I don't have quite that many favorites.  In fact, I'm not sure if I've actually seen 692 movies.) 

Being the "over thinker" that I am, and having the predilection for the strange and unusual that I do, I actually put to myself the question: "What movies would I like to see if I were contemplating ending my life?"  Asking myself this question, I set about the task of narrowing the list.  The second film from this list that I chose was "Pride and Prejudice". 

The film "Pride and Prejudice" was released in 2005, and directed by Joe Wright.  The film starred Keira Knightley, Talulah Riley, Rosamund Pike, Jena Malone, Carey Mulligan, Donald Sutherland, Matthew Macfadyen, and Brenda Blethyn.  The focus of this story is young Elizabeth Bennet, a strong-willed, vibrant young woman living in the caste driven society of Georgian England.  The second of five daughters born to a lower class family, she must contend with a mother who's singular obsession is to marry off all of her daughters.  With her own rather well developed opinions about men and love, she finds herself feeling justified in her beliefs when she meets Mr. Darcy, a man governed by traditional prejudices held by the wealthy of Georgian English society, and the wealthy best friend of the visiting Mr. Bingley, a man of apparently moderate wealth himself.  But, things become complicated when Elizabeth's older sister, Jane, falls in love with Mr. Bingley, a turn of events which brings her into further contact with Mr. Darcy.  In the course of her encounters with Mr. Darcy, she discovers that her understanding of men and love is not as accurate as she first believed.  In fact, all that she believed about Mr. Darcy wasn't entirely accurate.  She slowly discovers that there is more to Mr. Darcy than what she concluded from her first impression.  And so does her heart.    

"Pride and Prejudice" is a film that I would classify as an "escape" movie.  Though it's a story that takes place in the setting of a caste driven society, as this particular version of the film portrays it, there is a level of innocence shown here that, compared with life as we know it, whether in history or the present, seems almost surreal.  The way the characters interact with each other, the traditional courtesies, and the language that everyone uses all have an elegance about them that fascinates me.  In the film, one of the Bennet daughters, Mary, made what amounted to an out-of-place comment and drew from Elizabeth the most elegant way to tell someone to shut up that I've ever heard.  It was awesome.

I don't know about anyone else, but I was kind of caught up in the characters and how they interacted with each other.  I mean, even when they were angry with each other, the exchanges were elegant, eloquent and passionate.  Everyone seemed so straightforword and uncomplicated in their feeling and expression.  I was entranced.  It just sucked me right in.  It made me forget about everything around me.  I was somewhere else for the duration of the film.  This film did far more than take the edge off.  It created (or helped me create) a place free of the dysfunction and complication that is normally found in life.  Not a perfect world and not with perfect people in it, but, one where those things that are not perfect are expressed and dealt with in a far more elegant fashion than what is experienced in everyday life.  The characters were just as engaging as the story. 

Pretty much all of the major characters had "a little something" for me.  And they all served well to engage me in the story.  (I'm sure this is owed just as much, if not more so, to the actors and actresses as it is to the story itself.)  Elizabeth Bennet, though strong-willed and a bit opinionated, was what I would call something of a refreshing character.  Considering the men that she had to interact with in her "limited experience", it's easy to see why she felt the way she did about them.  A great many of them were exactly as she saw them.  Such behavior was typical of the culture and tradition of the time.  But in spite of all this, for the greater majority of the time (and in spite of her encounters) she managed to maintain a relatively cheerful demeanor, which I couldn't help but find refreshing.  I usually don't care much for stubborn, opinionated women (in movies), but, I couldn't help liking her. 

Her sister, Jane, the beautiful one, was the kind of girl a lot of guys dream about (character, time period, culture, and society notwithstanding).  She wasn't vain.  And she wasn't stuck-up because of her beauty.  In fact, she payed little attention to it.  She was apt to think well of everyone, almost to the point of naivete, and was quick to give everyone the benefit of the doubt.  But, she still had the capacity to see what was right in front of her.  She wasn't plagued by denial, and she had a great capacity for common sense.  And she was cordial to a fault.  Like I said, the girl a lot of guys dream about. 

Mary Bennet, one of the younger sisters, pragmatic, and socially awkward, was what would probably be considered something of a nerd today.  She enjoyed reading and intelligent conversation more than the typical diversions of the time.  She hated the typical form of social gathering of the time, the ball, and didn't think much of dancing, though she did practice playing the piano a lot.  In fact, in her own way, she was something of a closet rebel with respect to the customs and preferences of the society she lived in.  But, perhaps more so its preferences than its customs.  Those customs that were founded in the practical and common sense she seemed open to.  Despite her social awkwardness, she was more mature than Kitty and Lydia.   

Kitty and Lydia Bennet, the youngest of the five, are typical in their behavior for girls of their age.  Both very immature, one following behind the other, without a single care in the world except how they can best attract the attention of young men.  Mischievous and giddy, they thought nothing of making themselves a source of embarrassment to the family.  Though pretty much devoid of malice, they were almost totally self-centered, oblivious to all but there own interests.  Pretty much what you might expect of young girls spoiled by their mother. 

Mr. and Mrs. Bennet were what I would call a couple possessed of their own variety of charm.  Mrs. Bennet, in a number of ways, was almost as immature as her two youngest daughters, whom she spoiled and indulged in their behavior.  She was absolutely obssessed with marrying off her daughters as quickly as possible.  It seemed to consume her every waking thought and moment.  And, she was particularly skillful at engineering meetings between her daughters and prospective suitors.  Mr. Bennet was a character that I wouldn't mind emulating.  Most people that I know would find the way his wife pestered him about marrying off their daughters and went on and on about her nerves and how stressed out she was about finding husbands for them rather annoying.  But, I found the character of Mr. Bennet to be layed back and quite easy going in the way he related to his family.  I especially liked the way he related to his wife.  The way she followed him around getting on him about doing this or that would have annoyed anyone else I know.  But, not only did he not get annoyed, but he handled her (and his daughters) with ease and charm.  Every answer came with a genuine smile.  And, in this, you could see he was genuinely happy.  He truly loved and enjoyed his family with a calm humor.  To say nothing of his precious "Lizzy", his favorite, Elizabeth.  I thought this guy was awesome. 

Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley seemed to me like character opposites.  But, at the same time they seemed to make good friends.  Bingley seemed like a nice enough guy, affable to everyone he met.   But the thing that bothered me about him was that he was so easily led.  That feature about him proved to be a hindrance when it came to his pursuit of Jane.  His sister, piece of work that she was, was easily able to curtail his pursuit of Jane with very little effort.  What redeemed Bingley to me was the fact that his love for Jane was strong enough to eclipse his sister's influence on him.  Darcy was influenced and governed by the prejudices of his society.  He is described in the movie as "proud and unpleasant".  And it showed in the way he interacted with everyone around him.  He behaved the way he did because he thought that the traditions that he lived by were right.  What I thought was a redeeming quality about him was that he was open enough to learn the error of the ways he was born and raised to.  I also rather liked that it was his love for and interaction with Elizabeth that showed him what was wrong with the way he was. 

Caroline Bingley was the object of my contempt.  Beautiful as she was, I couldn't stand her.  I felt like cringing every time she opened her mouth.  If you looked up the phrase "stuck up", her picture would be there.  She seemed to bask and bathe in the air of her "superiority".  What's more, she seemed to enjoy using sarcasm to rub everyone's face in what she saw as their own shortcomings.  That woman made my flesh crawl. 

And on the opposite end of the spectrum was Charlotte Lucas, Elizabeth's closest friend.  I liked her.  I thought she was really sweet.  She struck me as very level-headed and practical.  She seemed rather wise as well.  The thing that impressed me the most about her was that, being married to a man out of practicality rather than love, she was devoted to him and to the life that he provided for her.  She found her own happiness in that life and happily allied herself to her husband's interests.  Her husband, Mr. Collins (played by Tom Hollander) was something of the comic relief.  Despite his being the heir of the property that the Bennet family lived on, he was looked down on by pretty much everyone.  Charlotte devoted herself and supported him nontheless. 

"Pride and Prejudice" is an excellent story of how caste founded prejudices are overcome by love between two people on opposite sides of social lines.  The environment in which this story takes place is one that, by virtue of history, is a significant diversion from the one we live in in the present.  This is definitely a film that will take one's mind off of what's troubling them for a couple of hours.  This particular make of the film was something of a pastoral experience.  I saw the make of this film from 1940 starring Greer Garson and Laurence Olivier.  It was a good watch, but, I found the 2005 version a lot more enjoyable because the pastoral quality about the film appealed to me.  With reference to the idea of seeing this movie before I part this life, suicide as a means being mentioned in the title of the original list, the escape that this movie provides might placate me enough to change my mind.  (If it didn't, I would go out feeling a lot better than did before I saw it.) 

Movies You Should Watch Before Suicide: The Shawshank Redemption

On a rather well-known website, I saw a list of films entitled "Before You Wanna Commit Suicide, Watch These First".  I was intrigued.  So, I took a look at the list.  There were 692 titles.  I don't know about anyone else, but, that seems to me to be something of an absorbitant list.  It got me to thinking about what would make these movies something a person should see in the face of considering suicide.  (According to the author of the list, it's not really about preventing anyone from killing themselves or dying or whatever.  It's just a list of really, really good movies that you really, really should see.  A better way of saying it might be "Movies You Should See Before You Die", or something like that.  You know, like a movie "bucket list".)  Actual intentions notwithstanding, the title got me to thinking about what it actually said.  As I examined the list, I asked myself, "What would I like to see if I were actually considering ending my life?"  Of course, being the habitual over-thinker that I am, I started to categorize what I might look for in that state of mind.  I narrowed it down to two categories that seemed appropriate.  Inspiration or escape.  Or some combination of the two. 

For myself, were I to reach a state of mind where suicide was an acceptable option, my choice of movies (if I were to go the route of seeking solace in movies) would be about "taking the edge off".  It would be about minimizing the depression or despair that would accompany the consideration of suicide.  Hence the resort to inspiration or escape.  This helped me to thin out the choice of films quite considerably. 

The first of the films on the list that fit either one or some percentage of both of the aforementioned categories was "The Shawshank Redemption".  As a matter of note, I would place this film in the category of inspirational (specifically with respect to the aforementioned state of mind).  The setting of this film is something that I would consider a bit "dark".  Its "darkness", however, wouldn't be about any level of evil, but about the despair present in the circumstances of the main character.  This would probably be why I might be attracted to this kind of movie in that state of mind. 

Based on a short story by Stephen King, "The Shawshank Redemption", directed by Frank Darabont, starring Tim Robbins, Morgan Freeman, Bob Gunton, William Sadler, Clancy Brown, Gil Bellows, Mark Rolston, and James Whitmore, tells of a young banking executive who is wrongfully convicted of the murder of his wife and her lover.  During his time in prison, he is victimized by a prison gang on a regular basis until his friendship with an entrepreneurial inmate provides an opportunity to reap unexpected benefits from his knowledge and experience as a finance executive.  After enduring 19 years of prison life, usable evidence of his innocence in the form of a cellmate-to-cellmate confession from the true killer of his wife and her lover comes to his attention.  But his hopes are dashed by the warden who is exploiting his financial experience for his own gain.  After being cruelly punished for his protests, he decides enough is enough. 

"The Shawshank Redemption" is a well told story of adversity and triumph.  The shock of the realization of the worst development in a person's life can be seen on the face of the main character at the moment of his sentencing.  The look of one forced to the realization that his life, for all intents and practical purposes, is over, punctuates the beginning of the film and his journey through the 19 years of trials and triumphs that make up his incarceration.  Adversity meets triumph as the oppression at the hands of "the sisters" is brought to an end by the allies he makes among the corrupt guards.  Triumph meets adversity when hope of his release is answered with cruel punishment.  Between these points and throughout the film, there is both the turbulent struggle to survive prison life and the execution and fruition of a long term, quietly implemented plan.  All of which is topped off with an awesome touch of vengence and justice.  What makes the "cherry on top" at the end of the movie is that the story, which began in the gloom of prison walls, ends on a bright sunny beach under an open, clear sky, next to a boundless ocean.  If this doesn't make you feel better, nothing will.

I can't tell you much more about this movie without telling you the entire film.  Being the well told story that it is, it is easy to get caught up.  One of the things that stood out to me was the portrayal of the despair that is a part of long term incarceration.  In the course of the story, one of the characters, after serving 50 years, is released on parole.  Having been incarcerated as a relatively young man, he is released as a senior citizen.  Surprisingly enough, he has no wish to be released.  He has become what the main character's friend describes as "institutionalized".  Prison life has become the whole of his existence.  Life outside of prison fills him with fear.  Unable to adapt, he is overwhelmed by futureshock.  When the main character's friend is released after 40 years, he experiences the same fear and loneliness.  That is, until he remembers the favor the main character asked him.  "The Shawshank Redemption" is a story with stories in it, all of them good, and all of them connected in one way or another.

If I were of a mind to end my life, and of a mind to seek solace in film, this would be one I might choose.  Watching this would have the potential to take enough of the edge off to get me to change my mind.